Counting the Omer, 49 days to practice

Just getting into the swing of Counting the Omer, a 49 day period of counting the days between Passover and the holiday of Shavuot, when Moses brought down the Ten Commandments. Not really sure what I feel or what it's about, yet this year. In the past, counting has been meaningful when my BFF turned me onto it and led me through it. This time, I will go through it hand in hand with my new partner. 7 x 7. Seven weeks, seven days, each day a different configuration of mystical qualities based on the Sephirot. Today was Gevurah sh'b' Chesed. Structure, strength, form within Love, Mercy, Kindness. I had a really, really hard few hours today after I finished working on my flyer for the dream class I want to give in June. I’ve studied dreams for almost 20 years. It’s time to share the riches. Talking to Janet broke the mood, softened by a short walk with Caleb. I just couldn't find myself. Everything that needs to be done pressed on me with voices saying, "it will never get done", "you don't know how to do it", tanking from there. Feeling hopeless in my ability to effect change, to have an effect on my environment. The furniture that needs moving, the tasks that need to get done. The ache in my left ankle that hasn't gone away in over a month. I raised four children. That's duration, that's focus, that's staying power. 24/7 for 30 years. I want the focus of this Omer practice to be my Organizing Principle. So? Nu? What is it after two days? Today, I'd say the OP is to have Chesed, or kindness towards myself when I'm having a hard time. That may not be an original concept, but it certainly is a new practice for me.